Thanksgiving update!

Hey everyone. I suppose it's time for me make an update. It's been a while. Several weeks have gone by without a word from me.. even some of my friends are sending me e-mails wondering if I'm still alive. :P

Well, I'm alive and doing very well, thank you.

What all has happened since my last updates? Well, nothing too interesting. Just the typical boy drama. I'm horny as all hell and still no boyfriend or special friend to help me out with that. Dry spells suck hardcore. Oh well.

My job is going well. I have paid off all my credit card debt as of yesterday. What a good feeling. Now all money I make can go towards the trip I am planning to Catalonia. I'm hoping to spend the summer there. I have a friend named Eugeni who lives in a city 20 minutes from Barcelona called Sabadell. He told me that I can just stay with him and his girlfriend, so that's exciting. No paying for hotels is always exciting. I also have a friend, Vicent, who lives in Ibiza who wants me to stay with him and his family. So... I know I have two places in Catalonia where I can stay for sure. There are a couple of other cute boys I've met too in other cities like Barcelona and Sitges who have made me offers, but I'm not sure if they just want the company or expect sex... not sure if the latter would be such a bad thing anyway. ;)

Dana, my former French student, is living in an apartment all alone in Paris, so I'm probably going to go visit her for a week or so... I can't wait to go party in Paris. And my friend Gérald who lives near Lyon wants me to go and spend time with him... I can't wait. I miss him so much. So I'm sure that France is going to be one of my destinations while I'm in Europe.

Then, of course, there is Fabiano... one of my former lovers from my days in Brazil. As it turns out, he's moving to Lisbon (that's in Portugal, just in case you didn't know. Hehehe) in January... and he's really pressuring me to go visit him. And of course, I've been dying to go to Portugal... so... I guess that's on my list too. ;)

And lastly... two more things. My baby snake Richard has finally passed away. I suppose from old age. I took good care of him... so it was either that or who knows... whatever. I was kind of sad... but I got over it.

A week later, since I was feeling so down about so many things, I decided I need something to show my love to... so I adopted a baby girl. Her name is Daphne Ethel-Camille DuRapau. I made a video of her eating for you guys to see. She's so beautiful. Truly, I am in love. If you meet her, you will fall in love with her too.



It's she lovely? Sometime, I'll post some nice photos of her. She has beautiful honey-coloured eyes and little spikes on her eyelids that look kind of like eye lashes. Love. She's a bearded dragon, in case you are wondering. And she loves to be held, licking things, eating crickets, eating fruits and vegetables, eating mealworms, eating anything really, bobbing her head, and waving at people passing by.

So that's that. :)

Kisses,
Charles

My mother

I just felt like sharing with the world a photo of me and my mom. Isn't she beautiful?



And some other random photos of me, my mom, Amanda and my niece Kaiya...

New Camera!

So I bought a new camera on Thursday night. It's love; it's pure love.

Kenny suggested that he come over and paint my face with some clown make-up he had lying around and that we should take some photos. So we did. And some videos. Here's Kenny painting my face and being shy on camera:


Yeah, we're total geeks, I know. In any case, here's some of what the final product looked like:



Well, we tried our best.

So later, we headed out to the bars and had a few drinks... well, a few too many, that is. Then we tried to play pool at 611, a bit drunk. Actually, I think all the drunkenness suddenly hit me the moment I decided to try to hit the ball and break.



"Oh god, I think I'm drunk!"

A little later, Amanda joined up with us and met Kenny for the first time. That was nice to see my friends bond. I caught on video a moment of bonding between them as they discussed how R&B is good for grinding on the dance floor. "Mmmm!" I like drunken conversation.



We got to the point that we decided that we had drunk enough... and just then Amanda's charm earned us each an extra shot and an extra free cosmopolitan. We were so gone by the time we got to Southbeach shortly after. I caught Amanda and Kenny dancing a little bit and declaring how cute they are together in the drunken way that we do. Notice how after Amanda stops laughing, that her face gets so serious and she does her "blue steel" pose to dance.



Is it just me, or did Amanda sound kind of like a chicken when she shouted, "We're so cute!"

Anyway, as it usually happens, the alcohol made us lose our better judgement, but it made for a pretty video.



Boys kissing are hot. Drunkenly kissing Kenny was pretty hot.

Anyway, so Amanda decided to go home and Kenny and I walked back towards my car. Kenny got the bright idea to lay in the back of some stranger's pick-up truck parked on one of the streets in the gayborhood.



He invited me in, and of course I couldn't resist. We lay there for a while and stared up at the sky and the beautiful tree above us. Kenny decided to take some pictures of the tree... and then he started taking photos of us in the stranger's truck...



I have to say, although we were violating some unknowing stranger's truck, it was quite hot. I told you we lost our judgement.

Speaking of lost judgement, Kenny decided that the tree was so pretty that he wanted to climb it. So he did.



He ended up getting a few scratches on his arm:



But he kept on going and eventually got up higher and even took his shirt off... man, he was hot. He looked like a savage jungle man up in the tree. Yum.



Anyway, we finally made it home and passed out. We slept like babies.

Good times.

I'm over it!

So Cláudio informed me in a recent e-mail of his that he is dating someone new now. Well... I'm happy for him. He's so wonderful that I'm glad he doesn't have to be lonely. But a big part of me wishes he weren't over me and that part of him were suffering because we're so far apart. I guess I'm just selfish. Oh well. At least I have several other foreign boys I can obsess over. Alexandre, Fabiano, Camillo, Gérald... the list goes on.

Speaking of which, there is a straight guy that I know who lives in Catalonia. He's a super cool guy and we met online to do a language exchange. I help him with English and he helps me with Catalan. He's been in a relationship for a while with a girl that he's quite fond of and just recently they moved in together.

I think he has a crush on me. Well, I'm pretty sure. He recently confessed to me that he thinks he is bisexual. And the way our conversations go... and we get along too well. And I know we miss one another when we don't get to talk often. Too bad he's not closer and well... gayer. I think we'd make a nice couple. Not to mention that he's handsome too. Tall, athletic, dark hair, green eyes... intelligent, fun, open-minded, sweet. What else could I want? If I thought I had a chance with him, I can see myself really being crazy for him.

Monday night drunk

So Monday night, Kenny and I had planned on having dinner together. We went to Mak Chins or... well, I think that is the name of the place. It's a really cool Pan-Asian restaurant with a bar kind of ambiance. A good friend of mine for many years, Tony, happens to be the manager of the restaurant. Bad equation. The product of it all turned out to be lots of free drinks from the bar with a really messed up Kenny and Charles.

But wait, let's take a step back. For those of you who don't remember, Kenny is the only guy whom I might consider to have been a boyfriend. It only lasted about 5 and a half weeks, so I don't know if it counts. We were official, though. So I guess that makes him my ex-boyfriend. In any case, we stopped talking for about three years and just recently we have been talking again -- as friends.

Anyhow, Kenny has been stirring up some old feelings in me. As you guys know from my needy personality, I never really stop liking a guy once I really begin to like him. And Kenny never truly wronged me, he just broke up with me for reasons that I found to be very silly at the time (which I understand now) and really neither of us knew any better. So I was never able to hate him and just forget him.

Monday night, after getting totally fucked up and the restaurant closed, Tony suggested we go to EJ's since they had $1 vodka drinks. Well, I've always been afraid to go to EJ's, but I couldn't resist the $1 vodka drinks. So we went.

At some point Kenny needed me to cock-block when some scary guy was flirting with him. So we told him that I am Kenny's boyfriend... and Kenny kissed me. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Stupid emotions. Stupid being so needy.

The next day, I told Tony that Kenny had been behaving ambiguously with me and was making me have funny thoughts. Tony of course, with his big mouth, blabbed to Kenny that he needed to call me and clear things up. Shortly after talking to Tony, Kenny called explaining to me that Tony had just called him. He then proceeded to explain to me that although he loves me as a friend, it's not going to go any farther than that. He also added that he hopes he can still be flirty with me. Audacious. Oh well. We'll be friends. Great friends, I'm sure.

At least this story is over quickly and everything was brought out into the open before I even had the chance to suffer. I wish that had happened with Leo.

And enjoy the old photo of me, Tony, and Kenny. It's from several years ago when Kenny and I were boyfriends and I had long hair. And another photo of Kenny looking really drunk with Tony.

Recent Nights Out

Shilpa and Leo when we went to eat at Chili's. Leo is addicted to margaritas, as you can see. :)



Me, Ingrid and Amanda at the Taqueria del Sol while Ingrid was in Houston visiting Edward (now her fiancé!).



Me, Amanda and Ingrid at some straight bar on Ingrid's last night in Houston. Later, we went to Southbeach and partied like crazy.



Me and Amanda... looking cute like usual.

Catch up and ugly ducks!

So... what has happened lately? During the holiday weekend I got not just drunk, but messed up three times within four nights. Bad Charles. I went on a really bad date and made a boy cry because he wasn't really my type. How come I finally go on a date with someone who finds me really attractive and charming, but he's crazy? Stupid world.

Anyway, Leo was travelling and away for the weekend in Chicago, so I had a chance to get away from him. And when he came back, I had decided that I was going to distance myself from him as I had previously mentioned. It lasted an entire couple hours. I couldn't do it. I gave in and visited him on Tuesday.. and I have slept there the past two nights. I know -- I'm weak.

Monday, Dustin and I had a picnic at Herman park and I took some pictures of some really ugly ducks. I even found a bunch of those ugly ducks wallowing in a puddle of mud right next to a lovely pond. They actually chose the mud puddle over the pond. Ugly ducks, ugly habits.



And here is a close-up of one of the ugly ducks along with another photo of the ugly ducks sitting in a fountain thing.

New Blogs.

Okay, so I made three new blogs. Since some people used to complain about when I'd not post in English, I kind of stopped posting in other languages... but I miss it. So I created a blog for my entries in French, one for entries in Portuguese and one for Catalan which I have just begun to study.

For those of you who are interested in reading my thoughts in another language or for those of you who have difficulties with English and would prefer to read about my crazy life in those languages rather than in English, feel free to bookmark my new blogs and comment on entries there and all that. :)

Here are the links to the new blogs:

My Blog in French
My Blog in Portuguese
My Blog in Catalan

Una nit sense en Leo

This is the first day in a week and a half that I didn't go see Leo. I was getting too attached.

I opted to stay home this time instead of rushing over when he called asking for my company. Honestly, I don't know how to feel. I guess part of me is sad because I miss him (not to mention that I was really enjoying sleeping in the same bed as someone else several nights in a row), but part of me is relieved. I'm so bi-polar.

He's another guy who makes me feel deficient. I think I'm going to distance myself from him. I know he loves me, but I still just feel bad about myself around him and I shouldn't surround myself with people who make me feel like that.

New semester!

So it's Monday. I've survived my first week back at school for the semester. I love my classes and professors. I'm making some cool new friends. And most noteworthy, I've seen Leo every day for eight days straight. And three nights, I spent the night with him here. We're not having sex, no kissing, nothing... we're still just behaving like friends. I'd like to see more than that happening, but I don't want to push it and scare him away. I think I'm getting attached. I'm crazy about him, but I don't think it's a feeling that we both share... but I know he adores me -- if not as more than a friend, I know that he loves me and considers me to be someone very special to him. Maybe with time things will change. We'll see.

So right now, I'm in Leo's dorm room (or "our place" as Leo and I call it). I spent the night here with him again last night after a night out with Dustin. Leo has left and taken off to class and forbidden me to leave so we can hang out afterwards. I'm glad. This reassures me that it's not just me forcing myself on him and possibly being that guy who just keeps inviting himself over.

Last night, for reasons I won't go into right now, I saw Leo get emotional. He weeped in my arms. I saw him in a very vulnerable state. It broke my heart to see him hurting so much, and yet in those moments, he was more beautiful to me than he has ever been.

In any case, here's a kind of old photo of me (on the right), Leo (directly to my left), some guy, and Amanda.